I'm not usually a person who is afraid of things. If you had asked a few years ago I would have told you I was afraid of nothing. Now when asked my answer is I'm afraid of my kid losing me or me losing her. Pretty normal fears for a mother.
The other night Little K asked to go see the pier in the dark and wanting to take pictures I obliged her request. She asked if we could walk to the end of the pier and although it's the middle of tourist season I said yes. No big deal I've walked on the pier at least 3 other times before without any issues.
As soon as we stepped out of the bait shop onto the pier I was ready to run. Something about the wind speed and wave height made me feel uncomfortable but since Little K wanted to go and we had already paid we set off down the pier.
As we were walking towards the end I kept imagining the pier crashing into the turbulent sea under the weight of all the fisherman and sight seers. I kept seeing Little K slip through the cracks in the rail. I tried to take a few pictures but the wind kept the camera unsteady and I didn't have it in me to manual focus. All my concentration was focused on not running back to the bait shop.
When we finally made it to the very end of the pier my fear eased slightly as the platform spread out and the stairs to the upper level blocked the wind from hitting me. I took a few more pictures and let Little K run around for a very short time before I told her we had to go back. She wanted to climb to the second level but wouldn't do it alone and I surely wasn't ready for that.
As we walked back toward the bait shop I made sure we both stayed in the center of the pier. If people had to move out of my way I didn't care, I wasn't getting any closer to the rails. Once I imagined myself laying down in a ball screaming in fear wondering if someone would help me back or would everyone just stare and take pictures.
Finally we made it to the bait shop and I have never ever been more relieved for something to be over. I'm not sure why I panicked, I was sure we weren't going to make it off the pier alive. I felt every wiggly board and every wave hit the pilings. I haven't heard news of a pier crash so I'm sure it's still there but last night I would have told you differently.
Have you ever been inexplicably afraid of something?
That sucks. I haven't have any irrational fears over a long period of time, but I've definitely had isolated instances where it was late at night and I was outside and I just felt unsafe. No reason, just an "Oh shit" feeling and the need to get back inside.
ReplyDeleteThe main one I can remember, I was walking Luke and it was dark. He kept turning his head to look behind us, and then tucking tail like he was afraid. I looked back a few times and there was nothing there, but his fear made me afraid even though I could see nothing to justify it for either one of us.
Girrrl. We were out on the pier on vacation and it was very windy. I could not get off of it fast enough. My heart was in my throat the whole time. I basically snapped a few pics then practically ran back. Pier fear is real.
ReplyDeleteI know it's common, but flying just makes me panic big time- no matter how many times I do it. I just honestly think the worst and freak out.
ReplyDeleteIf it is really wind I can totally understand being fearful. They aren't held up by much.
ReplyDeleteI am not a fan of piers or bridges over water. Or heights. I have a serious issue with heights. So I totally understand you imagining all those things happened because I do the same thing!!! When people lean on railings of a deck high up, I immediately feel like it is going to give and the person is going to go flying off the deck. It's bad,
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