There's No Crying In Baseball

One of the reason's I'm so excited about K voluntarily playing t-ball is because I was a softball player and I LOVED it. I was a pretty good player and have many memories of round robin tournaments and trophies long gone now. I've been dying to tell K this story but since it involves blood and pain I decided maybe now isn't the time for her to hear that story, so I'm going to tell you instead.

As an adult, I miss playing softball so when my employer started a co-ed team in 2008 I was one of the first to sign up. It had been years since I played but I was excited and after the first few practices where I showed my stuff, the once dubious boys were happy to have me.

Now is a good time to interrupt and tell you I had then and still have somewhat of a reputation at work for being a hard ass bitch. I don't take shit and I bust ass to get the job done, I have earned much respect from co-workers in my male dominated industry.

One night we were warming up before a game and being short a player Tyson offered to throw with me. What happened next had never happened to me before and I'm still not sure how it happened then. Tyson was throwing the ball a little harder than normal because I had been assigned to play first base for the first time in my life and I wanted to be ready for the fast throws I would have flying at me during the game. Well if you haven't guessed by now I missed one of his throws and it hit me in the face smack between the eyes.

My first thought was, "don't cry all those guys are watching and waiting to see your weakness". I bent forward and took several deep breaths while everyone ran towards me. Then I tipped my head back and with dry eyes and blood streaming down my face I walked off the field. I laid on the bleachers while people looked at my bloody nose and tried to get me to go to the ER. I wouldn't go, in fact, I told them to find a band-aid or something because I was going to play. At first, they weren't going to let me but Tyson finally convinced them I wasn't going to go listen (because after all these years he knows me well). So we taped up my nose with first aid tape and I played the game.

The next day I had two black eyes but I went to work anyway, mostly just so I could hear people tell the story of the little blonde girl who got hit in the face with a softball and didn't cry. I still love that story and it makes me feel like a bad ass.

What's your favorite story that makes you look like a bass ass?

Four Things

I saw someone post this on Facebook and thought hmmm that should be a blog post, well now it is.

Four names I go by:
1. Kelli
2. Mom
3. Kel
4. Bean

Four things I hate:
1. Ignorance
2. Racism
3. Lima Beans
4. Bills

Four places I have worked
1. Boss Hog BBQ
2. Winn Dixie
3. NC State Dept. of Corrections
4. South Shore Grille 

Four things I love to watch
1. People
2. HGTV
3. My kid playing t-ball
4. My dogs when they cuddle

Four places I have been
1. Australia
2. Florida
3. New York
4. Connecticut

Four things I love to eat
1. Chinese Take Out
2. Food Tyson cooked on the grill
3. Publix Mojo rotisserie chicken
4. Spaghetti

Four things I love to drink
1. Water
2. Water
3. Water
4. Water (I'm not allowed to drink much of anything else)

Four things I cannot live without
1. Books
2. A car
3. My kid
4. My dogs

Four things I am looking forward to
1. Summer
2. Beach Days
3. The last day of school
4. Seeing my sister in August

I stole this from Facebook so now you can steal it from me, I'd love to see your 4 things.

In A Small Town

After spending the first 10ish years of my life in a medium sized midwestern city my mom moved us to small town North Carolina. I hated it. At first, it wasn't the town I hated it was the oppressive heat and humidity that made it feel like I was trying to breathe in pea soup when I stepped outside. I've adjusted to the heat now but I still remember the struggle to breathe was very real that first summer. Then I started school and I realized while I could adjust to the heat and humidity I couldn't adjust to small town life. I hated that everyone knew my business, I hated that being yourself no longer seemed cool, and I hated that I couldn't go places without seeing someone I knew. Still today when I go back to that small town I dread running into people I once knew. What was most foreign to me though was the fact that if you had the wrong last name you weren't going to be accepted no matter what. Small town southern life was not for me and as soon as the opportunity presented itself I moved to the big city and never looked back. Until now.

The longer I live in my current town the more I realize I've moved back into small town life, the difference now is I don't hate it. People don't know my business because no one in my family talks about it all over town, Tyson and I both like and value our privacy. I don't mind seeing people I know when I go places and I actually look forward to it these days. Most importantly the area is so transient different last names are expected and accepted. Yes like any small town there are lots of people with area specific family names, but it's not a big deal if you don't happen to have one.

Maybe it's old age or maybe I just found the right small town for me but I don't see a move anytime in my future.

Do you fit into city life or small town life? Do you live where you feel like you fit in?

A Tattoo Story

So you know by now I have my new beautiful body art right on my upper arm where I can show it off all summer with tanks tops and bathing suits but still easily hide it with a short sleeve shirt if I need to cover it up. What you don't know is the tattoo story, every tattoo has a story associated with it right? I now have five and everyone has a meaning and a story attached.

I talked about my others on my now defunct beachy soup blog, if I talk about them again I want to go more in depth with their individual stories. Today's post is dedicated to the story of my newest tattoo, the beachy sugar skull.

When I make major life changes I feel like they should be celebrated with tattoos, 3 years ago this week I moved to the beach. It was a huge risk but with it also came huge rewards, I knew I needed to mark this life transition with body art but I didn't want your typical from the tattoo shop wall piece. I wanted something that was all me. I searched online for ideas and stalked Pinterest for every beachy tattoo they had, I found a few okay things but nothing that spoke to me.

Then one day last year I bought some sugar skull bookmarks from Books-A-Million and with them came a brilliant idea. What if I had a sugar skull drawn up with beach flowers and seashells, a beachy sugar skull if you will. I immediately texted the best artist I know, my sister. I told her my idea and sent her a picture of my sugar skull bookmark as well as pictures of some local beach flowers called Indian Blanket that grow in our dunes.

A couple days later she texted me back with the design above, I held on to that design, saved my money, and did some local tattoo artist research and portfolio stalking. Finally, after almost 9 months of waiting and researching, I took the plunge and made a tattoo appointment.

I could not be happier with the result, I've got this great custom piece of art designed by my sister that I can carry with me forever. Long live skulls and beaches.

Do you have any tattoos? Do they hold special stories and memories?

Inside the Bag of A Beach Bum

I've seen lots of these posts but I've never done one, I decided today is the day I show you what's in my bag. Most of the time this would include a picture of a book but since I was at home it's on my desk not in my bag.

First up we have a tide chart, a pair of sunglass for K, and a travel tube of sunscreen. You can't live at the beach without these essentials items and I rarely leave home without them. I've got a collection of pens so that when we're out and about K can draw in different colors to occupy her time. A seashell top and a rock K thought was cool enough to drop in my bag, I like seashells and find them stuck all kinds of places not just in my bag.

My pink iPod that is never charged and I don't carry earphones for. The yellow slip is what remains of my book credit at the flea market and the white slip is a book due back receipt for the library. A pack of tissues, keys to my mom's house on an awesome skull key chain, and my pink point and shoot camera because you never know when you're going to need to take a picture.

Breath mints because in karate you spend a lot of time sitting closely with other karate parents, no need to offend them with my breakfast, lunch, and usually dinner after breath. A little black book K uses for her pen drawings while were out and random key to...something? A couple of hair ties and a piece of a candy cane. I hate candy canes so this must be a K addition.

 A button for attending the Thanksgiving story time at the library, a bottle of lotion, and lots of hand sanitizer. I have a kid hand sanitizer is a must! I've got 5 types of lip gloss, I wear lip gloss maybe twice a year so I'm not sure why I need such a collection. Spare change that didn't make it into my wallet which is currently not even in my bag because if I'm only running to pick up K from school I don't need a whole bag.

A button for attending the Thanksgiving story time at the library, a bottle of lotion, and lots of hand sanitizer. I have a kid hand sanitizer is a must! Finally, we have the spare key to Moonbeam our VW Beetle, I don't know why this key goes everywhere with me all the other spare car keys are at home.

What's in your bag?

I...

I am...ready for summer, and all the sunshiney warm goodness that comes with it.

I keep...a box of mementos from the years Tyson and I have been together.

I wish I could...travel without getting sick, there are so many beautiful places in the world.

I love...my kid, my dogs, my beach life.

I dance...when I clean my house, dancing makes cleaning more fun.

I sing...loudly in my car, windows up or down, driving or stopped, I still sing.

I think...that Tyson's family staying with me for a week over spring break isn't all that much of a break.

I really...want my new tattoo already, patience is not my virtue.

I need...to feel less lazy more often.

I should...purge my house before spring fever hits.

I can...do anything I want but that doesn't mean I shouldn't take loved one's feelings into account.

I like...vanilla ice cream, so what if it bores you.

I make...not much of anything, I'm not a very good maker.

I always...get up the first time the alarm goes off, if I hit snooze I'll never make it.

At The Present Time

Reading - Attachments by Rainbow Rowell, after reading two of her books I decided I should leave none of her books unread. Next up Scarlet the 2nd book in The Lunar Chronicles.

Wanting - My tax refund, the federal government rocks that stuff but my state not so much. They won't be issuing refunds until after 3/1 so they can prevent fraud. Good thing they told all the criminals so they can work their fraudulent activities around the states timeline.

Loving - The warm winter weather this year! I know some of you love snow but I'm all about days that above 65 degrees since I live at the beach.

Hating - The warm weather means that the yard has to continuously be sprayed for fleas so we don't end up with a winter house infestation.

Thinking - About what life will look like with a kid out of school this summer. She never told me she was bored until she started school, it could be a long hot summer.

Planning - Our trip to the Lego KidsFest in Charlotte the middle of this month. K's looking forward to all things Legos and I'm looking forward to giving my new anti-travel anxiety medicine a test run.

Wondering - Why some people feel like they can't be a happy person without a significant other. If you learn to love yourself when you're alone happiness will find you.

Looking Forward To: Spring flower planting, all this warm weather gives me spring fever.

What's going on with you at the present time?

{Tap, Tap, Tap} Is This Thing On??

Hello there people of blogland, long time no see. The extended break I took wasn't intentional and I often thought of coming to this space and putting words to screen but then I'd think but what comes after that post? In other words, I was over thinking this whole blog thing instead of reminding myself to just write.

I thought I'd play catch up by telling you what's been going on in my world since we last spoke on December 10th (here is where I insert an embarrassed face emoji if this were a text).

// I attended my first Christmas cookie exchange party and it was a ton of fun, I even baked actual cookies all by myself in a real oven, look at me going all Betty Crocker on your ass.

// My beautiful blue eyed fur baby Seven died, we all miss her so much but no one more so than Salem. He spent weeks moping around the house after she was gone, it broke my heart.

// My kid got her first real karate belt, she is no longer a junior ninja and is super proud of her yellow belt!

// My sister came home for Christmas and we spent a week not working in an ocean front condo. Said condo had the best bed ever and I still dream about taking naps in it daily.

// During my beach trip, I found a whole sea biscuit on the beach, the only place I have ever seen sea biscuits were in tourist stores for sale.

// After Christmas Salem was still pretty down about Seven. The energy in the house felt sad and oppressive so we decided maybe we shouldn't wait to add to our pack. I started scoping out the local shelters for the perfect puppy addition. Enter Marina the Weimaraner, we couldn't have found a more perfect puppy and Salem is happier than he has ever been.

// I read a book by Cesar Milan and turned myself into the damn dog whisperer. By the time summer rolls around I'll be the girl evening walking big ass well-behaved dogs on the beach in the early morning and late evenings.

// Finally and I do mean finally, my football team is SUPERBOWL bound baby! I feel like this is going to be our year and it's been a long time coming!

Since I've been gone for a while I know I missed something great you had to say. Tell me what your favorite post(s) of your own were in December and January so I can check them out!

Struggling With Gratitude

Lately I've been struggling with Gratitude, something that's supposed to make me happy has been having the opposite effect.

If you've been around here any amount of time you know I've read happiness books, happiness studies, and happiness websites until happiness information was coming out my ears. With all the information I had at hand I picked a few happiness practices that worked for me and developed somewhat of a routine. One of my happiness practices was listing three things I'm grateful for at the end of each day, this practice isn't unique to me, some of you practice gratitude daily too which is what brought me to this forum for discussion.

The first thing I've noticed lately when I do my gratitude practices is that I feel like I'm saying hey universe look at all this awesome shit I've got going on in my life come take it away. I'm not usually superstitious but all the sudden I feel like mentioning anything in my daily gratitude meditations is putting an immediate jinx on it. I'm pretty sure that's not how it works, but my mind keeps telling me that's what's going to happen no matter how many times I tell that crazy bitch to shutty.

Second I've noticed I feel selfish and like a braggart when I list all the things in my life I'm thankful for, I'm not sure who I think I'm bragging too but the feeling persists. I've gone as far as trying to edit my gratitude meditations to things that almost everyone has so that I don't feel like I'm trying to one up the imaginary people who live in my head.

Last it's hard for me to be grateful when I'm feeling sad, it's a feeling of not deserving to be happy about the good things because it takes away from events that are supposed to bring sadness. Even as I type it I don't understand it but it's there, the guilt about being grateful when I'm also feeling sad.

So today I'm asking for your help fellow practitioners of gratitude, have you ever felt any of these things during your practice and if so how did you overcome them?

Dream Chasing

I'm off dream chasing, I'll be back when I can. Until then you can keep up with me on IG and Twitter!

The One Where She Confesses Some Big Things

Here's a confession for you on Wednesday, I've been working on writing a book but haven't really told anyone because really who isn't working on a book? All the sudden though I've got a plot outlined, I can see potential, and I'm all excited.

Why are you confessing this now you may ask yourself, clearly you're not even done writing this book or you'd be talking about that shit instead? The answer I've been thinking of participating in NaNoWriMo and I'm looking for NaNoWriMo buddies. I know you NaNoWriMo'ers are out there but I'm not sure how to find you. Also I want people to ask me how it's going and hold me accountable if it's not going, I'm a lazy ass procrastinator don't let me get away with that shit!

Here's another confession for you, I feel like a fraud as a writer. I can't say things like I've just always loved writing, it's part of who I am, or I've been writing forever and have stacks of notebooks and journals full of great material.

The truth is I have always loved to write but sometimes it's taken a back seat to life, as a rebellious hurt teenager writing was the last thing on my mind. My step dad or my sister read any journal I tried to keep, violating my privacy and my desire to write any candid thoughts on paper.

I've started a ton of "stories" with no real plan or direction. I've told people if I could do something I'd always dreamed of doing it would be to write a book. I've always added the caveat that I don't have time or I'm just not good enough or even I'm a reader not a writer, I wouldn't know how to start writing a book.

Well I've done some reading and some research and I think I know how to start. As a matter of fact I've started an outline, character sketches, scene notes, etc. Maybe I'll fall completely on my face and never finish, maybe I'll have a book no one wants to read, or maybe just maybe I'll hit the jackpot with the book of a lifetime. I'll never know if I don't try right?

Any writing tips? Any NaNoWriMo tips?

You Do What All Day?

I usually start posts with pictures but no one and I mean no one wants to see a picture of anything I am doing before 7:10 AM. I will tell you what I'm doing though because it's not a day in the life if you don't start at the beginning.

6:30 - 6:55 AM - Phone alarm clock goes off, I check for early morning mom friend snapchats about how horrible stupid o'clock is, I let the dog out, and head to the kitchen to get K's breakfast ready. Now this might sound hard but since my kid eats five things it's actually pretty easy. I pour the required cup of orange juice and heat up 6 silver dollar size pancakes made by Kellogg's, no syrup no butter. (Yes I have tried to give her made on the stove pancakes but my girl is all about her food being "the same". We're working on this problem).  While K is eating her pancakes and drinking her OJ I re-braid her hair. After I am done braiding and she is done eating she goes to the bathroom and brushes her teeth while I get dressed. I then help her get her shirt on without messing up her braids and she finishes getting ready for school by herself while I watch the weather on the local news.

6:55 - 7:05 AM - Driving to school and dropping K off. School doesn't start until 7:35 but she likes to be the first one there so she has time to talk to her friends.

I always take pictures on my morning beach visits

7:10 - 7:45 AM - Most mornings I stop for a beach visit sometimes long sometimes short. Sometimes dog walking happens her or there are mornings where I end up needing something from the store and have to bypass the beach for Walmart, that trade off usually pisses me off.

7:45- 8:00ish AM - Turning on the computer and checking email, taking care of any work that needs to be addressed first thing. This can can take 5 to 30 minutes depending on the day and the work load.

8:00ish - 9:00 AM - I'm watching the today show in the living room with Tyson while listening for my phone to ring and checking my email on commercial breaks. Since we work very different shifts this how we get couple time (and yes we are 70 years old).

9:00 AM - 12:00 PM - Jerry Springer and naps start in the living room at 9:00 so I return to my desk in the bedroom. I do any non-pressing work before visiting a few of my favorite websites like this one and this one. I'm still working but job is mostly reactive based on a call or an email, so if the call or email isn't coming in I'm in wait mode. While in wait mode I either read blogs and answer personal email or I read a book depending on my mood.

My real not perfect desk in the morning, I don't even have a pretty cup to display.

12:00 - 12:45 PM - A shortened version of lunch so nobody makes a big deal about the 20 - 30 minutes it takes to pick up my daughter later. If I don't need anything for lunch, from the store, or from the library I usually watch the noon news with Tyson (I already said we were 70) and then an episode of House Hunters on HGTV while I eat my lunch. Thee are times when dog walking happens here, just depends on how trapped I feel in the house any given day.

12:45 - 1:00 PM - Hey I'm available for calls and email again, if nothing is pressing I finish House Hunters while listening for my phone and checking emails during commercial breaks.

1:00 - 2:37ish PM - I'm waiting working and reading blogs, reading books, or doing some personal writing at my desk in my bedroom.

2:37ish - 3:00ish PM - I'm off to school, you may laugh at the 2:37ish but I have this down to a science so that I can spend the least amount of time away from work. School ends at 2:35, it takes me approximately 7 - 8 minutes to get to the school. So by the time I get there the car rider line is almost empty, yes I'm sometimes the last car (ain't no one got time for sitting in car rider lines). Another 7 - 8 minutes home and I"m back at work. The latest I've ever made it back so far is 3:04 (move bitch get out the way). Excuse my random bouts of rap singing.

My desk after school pick up.

3:00 ish - 5:00 PM - Hey more waiting work while I review little K's school work/parent book and a little afternoon surfing or reading all at my desk in my bedroom.

5:00 - 8:30 PM - Sometimes karate but most nights just dinner making, news watching (seriously I'm 70), relaxing, and reading to the kid. I usually turn the TV off when Lester Holt is done talking, we DVR a lot of our shows so we can watch them together on weekends.

8:30 - 9:30ish PM - I'm reading and enjoying the silence, Tyson usually doesn't get home until after 10 PM so I get a little me time before I go to sleep.

9:30ish PM - I go to bed (because 70) and get ready to do it all again the next day.

What do you do all day?

The One Where I Change My Shirt

// I may have stood on the railing of my porch in my PJ's at 6:45 in the morning with my cell phone to get the above picture without the neighbors house being in it.

// Parents who don't understand how the school drop off/pick up line works make me stabby. We all got the same rules, they aren't even hard to understand. Stop blocking the line with your dumbassery.

// My Goodreads challenge isn't right, it includes DNF and Little K books. I need to be able to edit those out to get an accurate number of actual books read this year.

// I'm not opposed to yelling at other people's children if they deserve, if your kids not an asshole you have nothing to worry about.

// While I don't love fall I do love that there are less people on my beach.

// A gentleman on the beach hit on me the other night by offering to loan me his sweatshirt while I was cold, yes I'm taken but I'm not dead. It's still nice to get noticed.

// I've fallen off the happiness wagon, I've stopped doing everything I learned makes me a happier person. I need to find a plan to get back into the swing of things since I've noticed my moods have taken a corresponding nose dive.

// I now change my shirt more than once a week so anyone who recognizes me in the school pick up line won't think Little K's mother has only one shirt.

// Leaving my desk for 20 - 25 minutes to participate in the afternoon school pick up line is the best afternoon work from home invention ever! It really helps the afternoon's fly by.

// Sometimes I dream of an office job where there are other people...then I remember I don't have to wear pants to work and stop dreaming that dream.

// It makes me irrationally angry my phone won't let me puke rainbows or make zombie faces via Snapchat.

// That I travel vicariously via your IG pictures. I'm looking at you Kate, Steph, and Lauren. So keep traveling so I can go too!

What are you confessing today?

Confessing on Tuesday?

Okay so we all know confession day is Wednesday but we all also know I'm a rebel and rule breaker so I'm doing things my way today.

// I secretly want access to the elementary school library so I can see what books they have for K and myself.

// The school had a total stranger listed as K's emergency contact on the information sheet I received on Friday afternoon. Monday morning at 7 AM I was at the front desk dressed all in black with my skulls on to make sure that shit was right. Nice mom showed up on open house night, badass mom showed up on a rainy Monday. It took a lot less time than I imagined it would, at least badass mom didn't have to put her badassery to use.

// I did nothing last weekend and it was LOVELY, most of my time was spent lounging in the chair or lying in bed.

// I talked myself out of rereading Harry Potter this weekend but I might still do it anyway. Do you ever long for the comfort of a book you know you'll love anytime you read it?

// I have never seen the movie The Princess Diary's and have never read the book. I had never even heard of it until I joined blogland. The book is waiting for me to pick up at the library so  we'll see if it's worth the hype.

// One of my very first blogging friends is back, some of you know her too I'm sure. Go say hello to Jess from Pleas(e) and Carrots!

// I want my daughter to love to read so in addition to letting her choose her own books I look for books that I think will interest her as well as teach her something. If you have a reading daughter, niece, or friend; you should really check out A Mighty Girl and their book recommendations. They also have movie, music, and toy recommendations too.

// I started a non-fiction book this weekend and then moved it back to my to read list and put it in the return to library unread pile. I think I'll enjoy the book, I'm just in the mood for fiction.

// My kid gets up before the 6:30 AM alarm goes off, I am considering making her bedtime a half hour later.

// Sometimes my picture nothing to do with my posts, I just want to use my pretty beach pictures for something.

// If your desk  IG picture is so staged it's unbelievable I'm going to unfollow you. I don't want to see what your fake life looks like, boring and well fake.

What are you confessing tomorrow? Go ahead, you can tell me.

How I Made My Dream Beach Life A Reality

The most commonly asked question I get asked is, how did you end up at the beach? My answer is usually I quit my job and moved her because I had always wanted to live by the ocean. The answer is a little bit more complex than that although that short sentence sums it up nicely. Today I'm going to tell you the story of how I ended up with this awesome beach life. It took a lot of guts and a little bit of luck as you will soon see.

In early 2013 I was toiling away at a job I hated, I had worked at the same company in Charlotte, NC for 12 years and while the benefits were awesome the day to day work environment bordered on abusive at times. Around the end of February I got sick, sick enough to end up in the hospital for seven days while Tyson took care of Little K at home. The diagnoses was ulcers in my esophagus and stomach, no cause found.

Every doctor in the world can tell me stress doesn't cause ulcers and I will call every one of them a bald face liar. Going to work at a job you hate everyday for years is stressful and stress affects your health. While I was in the hospital I was told that I after I was released I would have to be out of work another two to four weeks which meant I had to file for time off under the Family and Medical Leave Act. That meant we would almost drain our savings paying for medical bills and 2 to 4 weeks of unpaid leave from work.

I had specifically set aside that money for a beach relocation which I had actively been pursuing, I'd went so far as to contact companies on the cost of North and South Carolina that did work similar to what I was already doing to see if anyone was hiring.

While I was out on leave my direct supervisor put in his notice leaving me no buffer from the abuse of upper management. I decided I wasn't going back either if I could help it, Tyson, Little K, and I got in the car and headed for my sisters house on the coast to see if we could find work for Tyson since I was almost tourist season. Meanwhile I called every business contact I'd ever made looking for any type of work leads.

Tyson got a job and I got a lead on a possible work from home job. Tyson's check alone wouldn't be enough to hold us for long but it would be enough to hold us until I found local full/part time work or until my work from lead panned out. It was enough for me, I turned in my two week notice and never looked back.

For three months we lived in a house with only power and water, no cable TV and no internet. We scrapped and scrounged but we have never been happier. We ended up having to borrow a little bit of money from my sister to make it through the last couple of weeks until my work from home job finally came through.

I learned a couple of things over those months of job quitting and dream following.

• Living broke and happy is better than living miserably with money
• Big risks sometimes come with big rewards
• Your dreams don't happen on there own you have to make them happen

I've lived here for just shy of 2 and a half years, I've never one time regretted what I gave up to be here. I give thanks every single day that I've been given the opportunity to live my dream life in a place I love.

Have you ever taken big risk that ended with big rewards? What are you doing today to actively make your dream happen?

Don't Mess With The Bull

Signs, signs, everywhere there's signs...oh wait wrong kind of sign. Today I'm linking up with Nadine to talk about my sign, my zodiac sign. My sign is Taurus and as the old saying goes if you mess with the bull you get the horns. So what is there to know about me as a Taurus? I've read several Taurean profiles over the years and the big trait that sticks out to me always is stubborn. It's always listed as a weakness and in some cases it is but being stubborn is a strength in many cases too so suck it astrology.

How can stubbornness be good? Well I'm hella independent for one, I'm perfectly fine being alone and in fact at times I even love it. I'm not a leader but I'm not a follower either, I'm happiest when marching to the beat of my own drum. Independence rules the world!

I've got unmatched perseverance, my stubborn streak doesn't allow me to give up. If I want something badly enough I'll find a way to make it happen, living at the beach use to be just a dream but with stubbornness and perseverance I've made it my reality.

Granted there are times when my stubbornness isn't really a pro, hello scathing temper where did you come from? Still I'm glad that the stubbornness of a Taurus was granted to me, I wouldn't be me without it.

Other Taurus traits that describe me:

Practical
Hates Change
Love of Beautiful Things
Preference for Comfortable Creative Settings
Lazy
Frugal
Loyal

Taurus traits that don't describe me:

Patient (I laugh)
Possessive
Good Cook
Loves Money and Works Hard For It (I work to live, I do not live to work)
Desire for Material Things

Famous Taureans:

Tina Fey
Queen Elizabeth II
Janet Jackson (shared my birthday)
Willie Nelson
George Clooney
David Beckham
Saddam Hussein (Ummm)
Adolph Hitler (Uhhhh)
William Shakespeare
Carol Burnett



What's your sign? Does it accurately describe who you are?

Walking Down Memory Lane

I've been thinking about the past some lately which is evident by my post about Small Town Fun on Monday. I'm not exactly sure what's prompted this journey down memory lane, maybe it's the fact my little girl is starting school next week and school no doubt are some of the best years of your life. Maybe it's the fact that one of my oldest and dearest friends is going through some shit right now and I wish I could be there for her like I was when we were in high school.

Whatever the reason my journey lead me to an auto biography I was assigned to write during my senior year in high school. I was shocked and surprised at the vulnerability and honesty high school me displayed in her writing. Adult me wouldn't dare say some of those things to anyone let alone a teacher who is a virtual stranger.

Reading the auto biography of Kelli must have broken my teachers heart, reading what I wrote then broke my own heart. That being said I am proud of high school Kelli, she wrote with optimism and hope that I didn't think she had then while telling her story of pain. She spoke of getting past tough times and hurt with wisdom she lost someplace in her twenties before finding it again somewhere in her 30's.

I'm also proud of myself for getting through all that shit, it's something I don't give a lot of thought to now but at one point in my life or more I was the product of divorce, the victim of abuse, and a not very well liked person in high school because I chose rebellion and being different over popularity and fitting in. I've moved so far beyond all that pain it was hard to remember it until I read it in my words.

I'm glad I can look back now and see how far I've come, it only took 20 years to get here.

Small Town Fun

I grew up in a small town, not even a town really. There were two grocery stores, a pizza place, a video store, and three fast food restaurants all crowded around a place in the  road where two highways crossed. Everything else was back roads and a man made lake, sometimes I wish I could go back even though I swore I never would. Some of the best times of my life took place in around that small town, doesn't this sound like fun?

// Riding around for hours with the windows down. Endless hours of conversation and our favorite songs blowing out the windows as we went.

// Cruising around the court house square before the former cruisers outlawed it and before gas was to expense to spend your time in a weekend traffic jam.

// Camping by the lake after the prom with no adult supervision, laughing into the night long after we should have been asleep.

// Rolling the house of that one bitch in school that you just couldn't stand, some of you may have called it teepee but in the south we called it rolling.

// Skipping school to hang out in subdivisions that weren't finished yet but already had piers built.

// Jumping off of Jack's Bridge into the lake below.

// PJ parties in the parking lot after work (the alcohol not the dress) left over from someone's weekend party.

// Hanging out in the Food Lion parking lot because the "cool kids" hung out in the Lowe's parking lot across the street and we longed to be different even then.

// Walking endlessly around the campground (wooden shacks built for church camp meetings not where you set up a tent) for the last two weeks of summer talking to friends and giving side eye to enemies.

// Hours spent in the beauty aisle at the 24 hour Walmart 30 minutes away because what else was there to do?

How did you have fun growing up? Did you live in a small town or a big city?

Currently I'm...

Reading - Not Go Set A Watchman. I put this book on my hold list when I heard it was first going to be published. Now I've heard so much chatter about it I've decided I don't want to read it, maybe someday but it isn't today. So I'm taking it back unread and I'm picking up The Sound Of Glass by Karen White which has also been on my hold list for a while.

Listening To - Honey I'm Good by Andy Grammer. It's on repeat in my head and it won't go away, it'll be there for days and when it finally goes away I'll hear it on the radio again.

Thinking About - Sleep! No matter how much sleep I get lately it never feels like enough. I get up all ready to start the day and an hour later I'm questioning whether naps at work are really that bad if no one can see you.

Enjoying - The few days of cooler cloudy weather that have been sprinkled in here and there lately. By cooler I mean ninety, 90 on the beach rarely feels like 90.

Feeling - Excited, nervous, scared, giddy, like I'm going to throw up, and and sad all at the same time! In 15 days I send my little girl off into the hands of strangers for the first time ever in her short life.

Loving - That the beaches are a LOT less crowded than they were just a week ago. Did you know there are places where kids are already in school? Kids in school means less tourist, less tourist means a more peaceful beach.

Thinking - Of all the things I'm going to do for seven hours a day without the background music of kid chatter. I'm going to walk, I'm going to write, I'm going to sit and stare out my office window and enjoy the silence.

Wanting - A candle for my desk, I meant to pick one up last weekend but forgot. I need to get one more summer scent in while I still can!

What's currently going on with you?

If You Knew Me...

Do you ever wonder what makes a person who they are? What would you know if you really knew them? Here are some the things you might know about me.

// I wore all black to school every day my 7th grade year. Teenage rebellion at it's finest!

// Pink hair is not my first crazy hair style choice. When I was in high school I shaved the left side of my head, my mom helped me.

// I spent every summer from the time I was eleven until I was 21, floating in Lake Norman at my aunt's house.

// Despite having been ejected from a truck window and being air lifted to a trauma center for emergency surgery I've never broken a bone. That takes talent yo (as my 5 year old would say).

// A group of my friends and I tried out for the 4th grade talent show but were told no because our dance moves weren't synchronized. Dude that's harsh we were 9 year olds with a dream.

// In the 3rd grade I was in a 3rd/4th mix class, do that do that anymore?

// My first pair of glasses had red Sally Jesse Raphael style frames. I picked them out myself, being different has always been my thing.

// That I attended the Alabama June Jam at least two times with my mom and my sister. This is where I learned to hate camping.

// I was dual enrolled at two high schools my senior year, I attended both every day. I received my diploma from one and a varsity letter from the other.

// I have a collection of necklaces given to me mostly by my sister. Their are necklaces from all over the world and I try to alternate wearing them when I have a necklace wearing reason.

// I danced on the bar at Coyote Ugly one night when this non-drinker had to much to drink.

// I have a thing for skulls. My sister gave me skull themed gifts Christmas 2008. She also drew my next tattoo which happens to be a skull.

What would I know about you if I knew you?