// I wonder how many other people can say their sister designed their next tattoo, now I've got to convince Tyson to get it for me for my birthday.
// Look Salem is outside off the leash all calm, oh shit the bitch next door let out the mangy barkers. (After dragging my dog in the house) Fucking bitches.
// Why does it have to be cold tonight, I want to keep my windows open. At least it warms right back up tomorrow.
// I really really really loved that book, really. I haven't read a book so good in a long time.
// There is no food, I hate feeding myself. You better take your ass somewhere and find dinner stop being a lazy bitch.
// Why doesn't my kid need more sleep? If I go to bed at 10:30 I don't want to get up at 7 AM why does she? Pre-fill her morning cup, pre-fill her morning cup, pre-fill her morning cup.
// I'm glad mom found two more step tables, I wonder if I can re-sell the one I just bought. I can make Tyson meet the Craigslist crazies that are interested.
// Why is this bitch giving me dirty looks we just met AND we're fucking adults. If we weren't I'd throat punch her. I haven't throat punched anyone in years, why is throat punching people illegal anyway some people need a good throat punch.
// Day and day on end of rain sucked but look how big my tomato plants got! Garden tomatoes are so much better than that tasteless shit you buy at the store.
// You should really stop fucking off and get some work done, wait I need to look up _______.
// Oh I get the dirty look since it came after looking at me from head to toe. Look bitch I'd gain weight if I could being skinny isn't the fucking walk in the park you think it is. If you knew I looked this way because I'm in the hospital at least twice a year on a liquids only diet you'd change your fucking attitude. I hate judgy bitches like you. I should stop spending my time thinking about this bitch, I still want to throat punch her.
// I wonder what Salem will destroy tonight when I leave, Oh look a banana, Little K's tooth brush, my beach bag, a ring box, some bath toys, and a big pile of shit. Is this solitary confinement over yet?
// I need more t-shirts, why can't they make them just a few inches longer? I don't want my belly to hang out if I raise my arms or if I don't, I'm to old for that shit.
Kelli
Shirts are either too long or too short these days. Damn.
ReplyDeleteYou don't need an intro.
What was the book?
I almost punched a lady in the face this morning. My rage came out of nowhere. LOL
I'm with Steph, name of the book?! I am the same way about my dog. People walking their dog the same time as me, how dare they?! Haha! It's more because Seamus hates strangers and other dogs and acts a fool!
ReplyDeleteWHAT IS THE NAME OF THAT BOOK???
ReplyDeleteLOL, what was the book????
ReplyDeleteI constantly want to throat punch people. Maybe it's not just me afterall!
No intro needed but you do what you want. Intro or not! Very cool that your sister designs your tattoos. How special! Which book did you really really really love? I wish my kids got more sleep too. At least they don't get up at 5:30am though!!
ReplyDeleteI am appointing myself as your body guard. Anyone who gives you dirty looks will be punished with my fists.
ReplyDelete