The Awkward Stages of Making New Friends

If you're passed the age of 22 you probably know by now making new friends is hard work, I'm always sure potential new friends are going to think of me as an overly nosy stalker because that's how I feel while doing the new friend making dance. There are so many awkward stages during the making of a new friends, it's almost as awkward as dating in high school.

Awkward Observation - Most of us have places we go on a regular basis, work and/or children's extra curricular activities are two of the most common places. Observe the people in these places, watch how they interact with others, eavesdrop on what their saying to others but don't look like a complete lunatic while you're doing it. This observation period is going to tell you who it is you might have something in common with.

Awkward Approach - Now that you've picked a target approach them and start small talk about the things you think you might have in common. Introvert tip: When I know I'm going to be in a small talk situation I list in my head beforehand things I think we can talk about. That ensures I'm not stammering around for something to stay making an awkward situation even more awkward.

Awkward "First Date" - Okay so you've stalked observed a target, you've made small talk, and you think this is your person. I'll tell you here that what I learned about my chose person during small talk pushed me to make the "first date" request. Since we both have kids the same age I went the safe route and asked for a play date, kids can make great buffers if it turns out you don't really click. If you don't have children choose someplace like a wine and painting night or a dinner theater where there are sure to be other adults and conversation opportunities. At some point during your "date" you're going to know you really like this person or that this is not your person after all.

Awkward Additional "Dates" - I  wish I could tell you when the awkward part of making a new friend ends but so far I haven't gotten there. We are Facebook friends, we Snapchat, and we've been on one additional kid free lunch "date" but there are still moments of awkwardness in our friendship. On my side I'm going to keep asking her on awkward friend "dates" and hopefully she'll keep accepting, sooner or later the awkward will go away.

What tips do you have for getting past the awkward stages of new friendship?

Kelli